Hi sweetie,

We finally went and picked up your death certificates today. They called me around the middle of December to let us know we could go get them, but we’ve put it off. I had to look it over before we left and there’s a lot more to it than I thought there would be. It’s not like I’ve ever seen one before, but it was very detailed. It’s just another thing to check off the list.

Miss Madison also solved a crazy mystery for us today. She randomly texted me to remind me that we had stuff in her garage. The issue was, we never knew there was anything in her garage. There were so many people at the house and so much going on that the information got lost somewhere. There was a lot of things that “disappeared” that day everything happened. My coffee cup, Lucas’ blue octopus stuffed animal, half the movies in our van, and a bunch of other things. I laughed when I saw everything because some of the stuff I somehow didn’t notice was missing. We lost a booster seat at some point, but we didn’t need it so I never noticed. I did find a necklace you made that was in there, though. I think it was a “medal” that you made out of Legos. I remember you putting it on.

I glued together your “medal” from the car and some other creation I found in the playroom. I’m pretty sure it’s a house or building of some kind and I’m nearly positive parts have fallen off of since you built it. I decided it’s better to glue together what’s left than to lose the entire thing.

We were going to try and go to Bellows today, but we didn’t make it out there. We’ve only been there once since you passed and it was at night for the trunk or treat. Your siblings didn’t even see the ocean that night, I just went down myself and stared at it in the dark.

Elijah wants to say, “I love you, Isaiah. And had fun with all the good times with you. I wish you never died. And remember that game that we played called Pickle Power Extreme? Remember, we go on the nugget and try to make it to the next level? I love you with all my heart. Goodbye”.

I walked into the playroom this morning and found they had the nugget set up and had one of the kitchen stools in the middle of it. Apparently Pickle Power Extreme had you balancing on the stool on top of the nugget, while trying to cross to the nugget triangles. I just looked at them and told them I wanted to make it clear that I thought it was a “horrible idea”. It would be a bad enough idea if the stool was on the ground, but on top of the nugget? Your brothers quickly let me know that they always played that with you. I reminded them that you were crazy and had no fear so that didn’t make me feel better about the safety of the game.

I’ve got to put your brothers to bed now. Lucas has his face pressed up against the side of mine as I type this. He’s breathing heavily into my cheek. I love you more than anything in the world, my sweet boy. Lucas just accused me of loving you more as I typed that. So I love my babies more than anything in the world. Goodnight and sweet dreams, sweetie.