My Isaiah Joseph,

When I was in college, people would always say they weren’t sure about having kids because they didn’t want to bring them into this world. I often wondered if I was making a poor decision for you guys, but I was optimistic. For a while, I thought the world was slowly heading towards a brighter future. I had a lot of hope in the younger generations and felt like maybe you guys could figure it out.

You knew about some things that went on in the world, since daddy was in the Army, but we still shielded you from a lot of it. You and Ellie were aware of what the intruder drill was at school, but to you guys it was just something you do and it wouldn’t actually happen.

Tonight at Ellie’s open house we were walking around her different classrooms and I saw these big wooden boards by the doors. They had directions on them on how to wedge them in so the door stays closed. It’s sad that’s where we are at in this world, but it actually made me feel better that they had “extra” security measures on doors.

Every time there’s something horrible in the news, especially with a child, I wonder if you’re going to meet them. I wonder if you’ll come across them at some point to try and help them with everything. I could see you being that spirit. I could see you being a mentor spirit that welcomes other children and helps ease them into their new “life”.

I’d like to think that as I’m still trying to have you make a difference down on this Earth, that you’re also making a positive difference where you’re at.

I was worried about keeping you safe from the outside world, but I should have been more concerned about keeping you safe from your own body. I love you more than anything, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.