My baby boy,

I figured out how I’m going to spend part of the 31st. I talked to my therapist about it today and she thought it was a good idea and I needed to “let go” of everything I wanted at park and just do what I can. It’s the first year, it can grow and continue on, I can alter it as the years go on.

I made a few calls this morning to the parks and recreation department in South Park, but nobody could seem to give me an answer about if I can do what I want. The lady told me today that as long as I don’t have a giant tent (I don’t), will be taking money (I won’t), or releasing balloons in the park (like us, you loved and want to take care of our world) then we should be fine. I have to call again tomorrow since most of the people were working the polls today, but hopefully I get the go ahead tomorrow.

I’m going to make a few posters with your pictures, drawings, and little facts about you, we are going to just hand out Minecraft cupcakes, and any kid that is there will get a raffle ticket. I bought four little Lego kits and the kids will get to put their ticket in the one of their choice. At some point, your siblings will pull the tickets and we will have the winners.

There’s one other thing I want to do, but I have to see if I can pull it off in time. Since you are such a giving and thoughtful soul, I thought of asking people to do random acts of kindness once they leave. I want to have stickers with a QR code on them that links back to a website about you. I also want to switch over your letters to a different platform just because it’s time.

Do I know how to make a website? Nope. Do I have any idea what I’m doing with any of it? Nope. I do know that this is something I want to do though and I want to and will figure it out. Just like the park “celebration” of your life, a website can be improved as time goes on. I figured that people could do something kind, give the sticker with the QR code, and then the receiving person can go and read about you.

I want your legacy to live on. I want your spirit to live on. I want you to live on in this world any way that I can do it. You’re important. You deserve to be remembered. I will never forget you and I want to make sure the world never does.

Can we also take a moment to appreciate what you wanted your future to look like at four years old? You would have made a fabulous monster hunter and I would have always felt safe with you around.

I love you more than anything, baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.