My baby boy,

Hi, handsome. Ellie just woke me up from sleeping in Elijah’s bed. I laid down with him, as I usually do, and he was just way too excited to fall asleep. His birthday is tomorrow and he’s been waiting around for this to finally get here for the past month and a half. He’s told every stranger we’ve met when his birthday was and he’s ready to celebrate it.

I don’t really remember Elijah’s birthday from last year. We had just lost you two weeks prior and it was clearly survival.

The only holiday you guys have ever bought for each other has been Christmas. I’m going to get to the point because I’ve fallen asleep a few times and I just going to ask about celebrating McDonald’s. As we were walking into the store today, Ellie declared she was getting Elijah a gift. While at the store, my mind was all over the place and I was just trying to get in and out with what we needed.

As soon as we got back to the toys, Lucas found a Lego dreamzzz set that Elijah would absolutely love and put it in the shopping cart. I didn’t even fight it and just kind of went along with it. A few minutes later, Ellie found about her Lego dreamzzz set and decided that was the one she was choosing to get Isaiah.

After being home for about two hours, I started to wrap the gifts. I helped Lucas wrap his, but then suddenly came to the horrible realization that I forgot a gift from you. I nearly lost it. How could I forget a gift from you? I talked with daddy real quick about it and we both gave it a pass considering we have never let you guys buy for each other’s birthdays. I also never even agreed to doing it. Ellie said she was doing it in the parking lot and Lucas put something in the cart once we were in the store. It just happened.

Baby I’m going to go to bed because I don’t even know if this will completely make sense to you after all these mess ups. I love you with all my heart and you are my everything. Goodnight and sweet dreams, baby.