My baby boy,

Today was rainy and I think that’s what set my mood for the day. I was just down, missing you, overwhelmed, wondering how the heck I got to this point.

I’m working on getting into your website to try and get it working correctly. I still have all those mini Lego sets that Miss Madison and her friends sent us, but I want to make sure the site is up and functional before handing them all out. I just want whoever gets the Legos to have a chance to learn about you if they want to. Maybe they wouldn’t go to the site, but I need to have it as an option.

I have a lot of things I want to get done, but I keep getting stuck. Once I get stuck, I let the grief and depression take over and I kind of just crumble. I don’t think I will ever be able to climb out of the hole your loss has put me in. It’s like I’m in a hole in the sand and each time I try and climb out the walls just fall down as I touch them.

I need to find where to put all my extra energy I have for loving you. I love you more than anything in the world, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.