Hi my baby,

I cried today, but it was a good cry. A few weeks ago at Kids Hurt Too, your siblings made a little list of things they wanted for Christmas. We went today to pick up their gifts. They had the lobby all decorated, had Santa, and had the gifts for the kids all nicely wrapped. They got Lego sets, squishmallows, and stuffed animals. The thing that really made me smile was that Lucas got a picture frame in his box. On his list, he asked for pictures of you. As soon as we got home, he went through the whole stack of pictures of you and picked one out to put in it. He found a picture of you playing soccer in Missouri and chose that. The picture frame is already on his dresser.

Once the kids received their gifts, I wanted to take a picture of them with Santa. Santa was actually holding his own baby, but I didn’t mind. I made the random comment of, “look, there’s four kids like there’s supposed to be”. That’s what started to break me.

The tears were caused by my gratitude for other people. Here we were, a family who lost a son, and these people got together to do all this and ensure they give the kids a positive holiday memory. I always wondered about how kind and caring people actually could be, losing you has shown me how many people are willing and want to just help.

I’m sorry, I fell asleep in Elijah’s room. He plays too many games and I swear I end up sleeping before him. We have a lot to discuss, but I will save it for tomorrow. Instead, I just wanted to let you know that I got the house! It’s terrifying, but I think it’s time.

I love you so much, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.