Baby boy,

Last night while I was putting the boys to bed, I heard about five knocks on the wall behind my head. I didn’t do it, I figured it was Lucas or Elijah. Lucas and Elijah both asked who was doing it and it had scared them because I told them right away I didn’t do it. When I realized it wasn’t them, I told them I was joking and it was me. It was most definitely not me, Apollo and Bella were sleeping on the floor, and Ellie was in my bedroom on my bed. It was nobody in this house. Was it you? I can’t be losing it because both your brothers heard it loud and clear. I would like to think it was you and not some other random spirit in this house.

We’ve lived in a few houses that have had paranormal things going on, so this wouldn’t be a first. However, it would be the first time I wasn’t phased by it because my mind goes straight to you. If it wasn’t you, you’d be there to watch over us.

I’ve gotten twenty-seven bags of mulch put down in the yard. This yard is slowly driving me crazy. It’s been so long since it’s been taken care of that there’s so much work to do. I’ve stopped in the middle of my yard work a few times to say a choice few words to the yard. It makes me feel better.

It’s important to me that this isn’t just a house for your siblings. I want it to be a home. I want them to be able to relax here and know they’re safe and loved. I’m hoping to have some meals out on the patio once everything is together. When we moved to Hawaii, I could not wait to sit out on the lanai and eat dinner together. I put up some lights, it was going to be wonderful. Then reality hit and I realized that the flies in Hawaii would not allow for such a thing, at least on Schofield. I even tried putting a few fans out there before, but it didn’t deter them.

We’ve never put down roots somewhere before. We kept packing up and moving and every house, neighbor, and friend was temporary. I don’t want this to feel like that.

Uncle Brandon is coming over tomorrow with the girls to help me set-up the trampoline. Your siblings were upset I didn’t get it up today. I don’t know if you remember, but the last trampoline had a basketball hoop. We never attached the hoop when we built it because we worried about what you might do if it was on there. Would you keep trying to dunk and then hang on it? Would you end up just pegging your siblings with the basketball instead of trying to get it in the basket? Nearly each time you were on the trampoline someone cried, so I think we made a good call with not putting up the hoop. Think of how crazy it could have gotten!

I’m exhausted, my sweet boy. Nobody is sleeping and I just don’t have a lot left right now. Please visit someone soon. Ellie thinks you’re mad at her. I know there’s a lot going on, but we are struggling. I love you so much, baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams/