Isaiah,

Today had its rough moments. I’m on edge with Apollo. He hasn’t eaten any of his dog food yesterday or today. He will eat any other treat or “people food” he is given, but it’s noticeable. His back legs are giving out even more. He’s also not following me around as much as usual. He’s always followed me from room to room, but he stays back in my room a lot. When I get up and go somewhere else, he just stays.

Abuela and Grandpop are here visiting us. Tonight, she gave daddy and I a hug and then made a comment about how she “disappeared” because of how much shorter she was. For whatever reason, in that moment I pictured you there in that hug. You’d obviously have a few inches on Abuela at this point, maybe that’s why it just came into my mind? I don’t know, but it hurts to know I will never find out.

Daddy and I then ran to Target to look at things for Lucas’ birthday. While we were there, I went down the aisle with the kids’ cups. My mind immediately went to “I wonder which one Isaiah would have picked?”. Technically, I don’t think you would have really wanted any of them, but think you would have settled on the black one with Pokémon on it. Daddy said he thought you’d end up wanting the Spider Man one. It hurts to know that I will never be able to ask you, but it hurts even more to think that I don’t know you enough to know what cup you’d choose. See how messed up all of this is?

I love you more than anything in the world, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.