My Isaiah Joseph,

The first thing you need to know about today is that I conquered one of my fears! I took the van through a drive-thru car wash! It was a touch less car wash that you just pull into and stop so technically I didn’t completely conquer the fear, but I worked towards it. However, I either somehow pulled in incorrectly or the car wash was broken because the right side of the van was beautiful while the left side still had all the salt on it from being on the boat coming back from Hawaii. Does this mean I will completely face my fear and go to the car wash where you have to drive on to the track things? No, but maybe someday. I just always feel like I will somehow hit an employee or hit the side of the building and cause it to come down. It’s ridiculous, but that’s how it is.

Remember when daddy took you guys through the car wash at Fort Leonard Wood in his truck for the first time? He took a video of you guys during it and it was so entertaining. It was a mixture of excitement, fear, and happiness.

Elijah, Lucas, and I went mini golfing today at Sunset Golf. I went there all the time as a kid, through high school, and even college. Unfortunately, they’re closing in two days so I needed to make sure the boys got to experience it in all its glory. Ellie had gone with Gma and Pap a few weeks ago so she got to enjoy it.

It was extremely busy, but we had fun. I decided after watching Elijah attempt the first hole that we were not going to keep score. Elijah’s golf strategy was to hold the club like a hockey stick and chop at it. Lucas held the club better, but his swing always included a follow through that nearly hit someone in the face quite a few times. We ended up skipping a few holes in the middle because the boys were over the long waits and Lucas was apparently becoming so dehydrated that it was hard to survive. We had a good time, though.

We’ve only gone mini golfing one other time. We went on post when we lived on Fort Leonard Wood. They had that outdoor recreation center with the pool, go karts, and mini golf. You were the only one who was half interested in playing that day. You actually made an attempt. I wish we would have tried to go more times after that, but I think that’s it disaster of a time deterred us from going back.

After mini golf we finished up with my childhood ice cream stop. Lucas did his usual and got his own thing and then kept trying to randomly lick mine. He does it all the time at Rita’s. Moms can’t have anything to themselves. While we were there, I was going off about the nostalgia of the place, but neither of them really cared.

Elijah is over Chase and asks daily if we could just have you and Apollo back. I know how he feels.

Lucas reminded me of you tonight. He brought Bella into his room at bedtime, got her bed set up, and read a book to her. When she didn’t initially fall asleep to the book, he sang her a lullaby. You boys all have the softest hearts and I love it.

The boys have said you were in a dream of theirs the other night. I don’t know if I believe them because they tend to make those things up and the dreams change a lot each time they tell me. I hope you do, though. We all miss you so much. I love you more than anything, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.