My baby boy,

I’m exhausted, I’ve got nothing left to give.

While we were eating lunch, Elijah said, “I build Legos because I want Isaiah to be proud of me”. He makes this comment a lot, but as usual I told him that he doesn’t need to build Legos for you to be proud of him. He then went through random things he thought you’d be proud of. He also kissed your urn and said “goodnight, Isaiah”.

I miss you so much. I used to think all the memes of Justin Timberlake around this time were funny. They made me smile. May now means something completely different and I will stay in the darkness the entire month since I will be mostly dreading May 31st.

Maybe that’s why I’m feeling the way I am? Maybe I’m just feeling how one should feel after losing a child. I just don’t want to feel it anymore. I love you so much, baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.