My baby boy,

Hi, handsome. We had The Caring Place tonight. Ellie and Lucas used modeling clay to make different characters and talk about their feelings while Elijah read The Invisible String and did an activity that went along with the book. It was just me and the same lady from last week again, but it’s nice to be in a comfortable situation to talk.

I made a comment during group about how I’m still struggling with the idea of the “after”. I was confident before losing you, but once I lost you I lost faith in what happens next. The woman did tell me that in her sister’s last moments that she talked about her grandma and grandpa coming to get her. I’ve read so many stories like this and will cling onto this idea in hopes that when my time comes, you’ll be the one to come and get me.

When I’m talking in that group about you and certain events, I start crying as though it just happened. I think that’s how it’ll just be forever, though. There’s people that I’ve met on this journey who are much farther along than me, but are still extremely emotional when talking about their child. Whether it’s one year or forty years, you’re always my son who got taken away far too soon.

I got a letter from the Peters Township Library today and they bought two books in your name. They bought a Minecraft for beginners book and a Bad Guys book. Both those books are perfect choices for you. I’m going to have to make a trip to the library soon to take a look at the books.

I hope we are continuing on how you would want us to. I hope we make you proud each and every day and I hope you like the ways we choose to honor and remember you. I love you more than anything, my sweet boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.