Happy Halloween my baby boy,

Happy Halloween my baby boy,

I really can’t put into words how I felt today. Halloween was always my favorite holiday, but it just seemed like a regular day today. I just wanted to rush through the day and for it to be over. I spent the majority of the day being mad. Not mad at the world, not mad at people, just mad.

When it came time to trick or treat, that’s when the tears came. Getting everyone outside to take a picture had me just standing there like “how did this happen?!”. For the first fifteen minutes of trick or treating, people probably questioned what was wrong with me, but then I was able to pull it together. I wore the necklace with your ashes, carried your book bag, and we brought your truck or treat bag from last year as a way of having you with us. We went, your siblings enjoyed themselves, it’s another first we can now check off the list.

Your brothers asked a lot of questions while we were trick or treating about you and your last Halloween with us. I still stick by the fact that I thought you would be a Minecraft person this year. Either that, or the pizza costume. I feel like you may have chosen the slice of pizza after Lucas chose the taco costume. As a side note, Lucas was getting flustered because everyone kept calling him a burrito.

We didn’t trick or treat the entire time like the last two years. I figured that’s how it would go this year. You were always the one who hung in there the entire time and Ellie would go with you just because she can’t quit before you in anything. Elijah was the first one to drop out. We don’t have the running stroller anymore and he was over walking around after about an hour. Ellie was done about twenty-five minutes later, but Lucas wanted to press on until 8pm. We circled back towards the house and by that point Lucas was also done. You would have had us out there the entire time.

The wooden Disney house was gone, the people with the dog house decoration moved, and that creepy doll on the swing wasn’t there this year. It makes it more depressing when those things that we looked forward to seeing with you leave the same year you left us.

I got a taste of what the upcoming holiday season is going to be like and it’s going to be an adjustment. I’m going to attach a letter that Ellie wrote you tonight. I love you more than anything, my baby. Happy Halloween, sweetie.