Merry Christmas, my baby,

We survived through Christmas. I don’t know how or why, but yesterday was worse than today. I think it’s because we do all the things on Christmas Eve and then Christmas is usually just presents in the morning. Your siblings woke up at a ridiculous time to shake the gifts, went back to bed, and then woke up at a slightly more reasonable time.

Everyone seemed to have a good morning. I kept worrying that maybe your siblings didn’t have a good Christmas morning. Maybe we should have done more? I stepped back and realized they’re most likely missing you and that’s why it’s different this year. It’s honestly sad how long it took me to get to that realization, but I got there. If I’m feeling like it’s not Christmas and don’t even want to celebrate, isn’t there a chance they feel some of that too?

Aunt Nay Nay got your brothers walkie talkies. Daddy and I were reminiscing about when you guys had walkie talkies in Missouri. Nobody understood how they worked. You guys wouldn’t press the button to talk, wouldn’t wait for the other person to reply, and would constantly just hit the “call” button. We even bought one for Mila and Oakley the one time because I was thinking back to the movie Now and Then and thought you guys could talk between our houses. That idea didn’t pan out either.

The walkie talkies led us to talking about you guys and the power wheel cars we had. You were hilarious. You were too stubborn and independent to let us help, but you did not understand the concept of steering. You either didn’t use the steering wheel at all, or the one time you just kept it turned one way and just went in small circles in the backyard. In this video, you wouldn’t use the steering wheel. What makes that even funnier is the fact that you kept yelling at daddy when he would touch the steering wheel. It was absolute chaos.

I’m really thankful that daddy suggested not cooking a big meal. The power went out this afternoon for about three hours. If I would have been cooking during that time I most likely would have just cried and called it a wash. We tried to get Chinese food, but they were so backed up it was going to be two and a half hours. In true Isaiah fashion, we ended up eating pizza for dinner. You would have approved.

I decided I was going to start super gluing more of your Lego creations together. I want to make sure they’re done way before the movers would get here. I don’t want to wait until the last minute. Since it’s Christmas, I decided to start with your Santa car. As soon as I sat down to assess where to start, I started to panic. What if I accidentally drop it and it breaks? There’s no way I will be able to rebuild it how you had. If I ruin it, that’s it, that was my only shot in this lifetime. Once all that went through my head, I got really upset. The Santa car is the only one I worked on today. It was a lot heavier on my emotions than I thought it would be.

I’m not sure how New Years is going to go, but I will just try and focus on December 26th at this point. I hope you stopped by a good portion of today.

Merry Christmas, my baby. I love you so much. Goodnight and sweet dreams.