My baby boy,

My baby boy,

Life is currently exhausting. I’m not really sleeping and each day is just draining. Each night I’m exhausted by around 8pm. I still have to lay with Elijah and Lucas every night. Usually it’s Elijah who plays games and takes forever to get to bed. Like right now, he’s sitting on the floor and putting a little plastic slinky up to his mouth. Him and Lucas are conspiring against Ellie because she takes things from them. Elijah asked me to get a shirt for him to wear to bed, I picked a race car shirt that you wore a lot. However, it wasn’t “colorful” enough for him, he’s worn tie dye to bed the last few nights. Since he had no other ones, he settled on a Hawaiian shirt.

I have the sib shop conference tomorrow and Saturday. I’m hoping to get information from that to help out your siblings.

I can’t believe you’re gone and don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to just throw up the white flag. On an unrelated note, your brothers and I finished the Lego family tree today. It’s actually really cute. Now I just need to go and print off wallet sized pictures to put on it. Judging by the pace at which I move, it’ll probably have pictures on it next August.

My baby, I’m tired from missing you. I don’t see how everything just goes on. Even I have to just go on. I’m just continuing every day and doing the same things I was doing before you left us. I love you more than anything and want you to know you’re always on my mind. Goodnight and sweet dreams, my baby.