My baby,

I listened to Precious Love by James Morrison on repeat today. I listened to it down in the kitchen and then laid in your bed and listened to it. You didn’t like that song or anything, but I know I annoyed you with it. A few weeks before everything happened, I was listening to that song on repeat as I painted the kitchen back to white. You and your brothers said you were upset I was painting it back and would miss the blue. You also complained how many times I listened to that song. So today I was listening to it just to think back to that time. In all honesty, I love that song and could probably listen to it for hours on repeat.

There’s part of me that desperately wants to be with you and that’s crazy to say. The hurt and pain from missing you every second of every day is debilitating. Your siblings deserve a mom who can pull it together though and still be their mom. I promise to continue that job to the best of my ability.

I love you so much and would give everything I owned just to get to talk to you one more time. I’m sorry, today just got worse as it went on and I’m struggling. Goodnight and sweet dreams, my baby.