My sweet Isaiah,

My sweet Isaiah,

The clock has started with our next step. I really wish I could see into the future to make sure I’m making the right decision for your siblings. Granted I have no idea how long everything will take, but we did our part.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to paint your room back to white before I leave. Something about doing that just doesn’t sit right with me. The thought of even packing your room up causes an intense amount of stress. Plus, we know how Army movers always are. We never get to a new place without like 15-20 things getting broken. It’s the sentimental stuff that I get really upset about though, like when they broke Uncle Jim’s stained glass. They literally threw it in a box with the turkey roaster. It made no sense. Sure, them putting a forklift through the edges of our dining room table were pretty annoying, but I only have so much energy to deal with everything after a move.

Three years ago we went to Great Wolf Lodge and the Lego Center in Kansas City. You loved it. I wish we could have gone again in Virginia, but we weren’t there long enough. I’m thankful Mr. Mickey and Mrs. Courtney took you on a bunch of little staycations. When we are staying at Camp Mokuleia for the retreat, I’m just going to picture how happy you would be to be there.

The SUDC people have all the information for the medical examiner. They’re going to reach out and see if they can get any other information. I doubt it, but at least they’re trying.

Ellie said she had a dream about you last night. Thank you. Isaiah, I have so much I want to tell you and I just want to sit on the couch and cuddle you..even though you were hardly my small boy anymore. Please know how much you meant to me. I love you so much, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.