Hi handsome,

Ellie added her extra patch tonight to our quilt square at the Caring Place. She included a heart, a basketball, a bowl of ice cream, your name in a rainbow, a picture of you two doing a handshake, and a picture of her giving you a piggyback ride. The horse/piggyback rides with you two were always ridiculous with you being taller than Ellie. There you are, though, telling her to take you to places like Africa and Missouri.

We were at our cardiology appointment for three hours today. Your siblings, as usual, seemed to create chaos. They were actually really good considering all that was going on, it was just all of us in a tiny room for so long. Everyone is cleaned and we are waiting on other cardiologists and geneticists to tell us the next step.

Remember when Miss Whitney came to the doctor’s with us? She brought Blake and Bella and I had you, Ellie, and Lucas. It was pure craziness, but I was so thankful for Miss Whitney to come with us. Today reminded me of that day, though. I don’t know why exactly since I’ve had all four of you at the doctor’s before, but it did.

Ava Maria came on tonight during the Christmas songs as I was putting the boys to bed. Elijah started to get a little upset and told me that the song made him think about you. I asked him if he wanted to be thinking about you at that moment or not. He said “yes”, so we just let the song play on. If he had said “no”, I would have reminded him about the part in Modern Family when Mitch is chasing the bird in the house to that song.

One day at a time and even that’s exhausting. I love you more than anything, sweetie. Goodnight and sweet dreams.