Isaiah Joseph,

I had a quick flashback when I picked Elijah up today. He got in the car and told me that he didn’t eat all of his snack at school because he wanted more time to play Legos with his friends. I just smiled and said, “that’s fine” and remembered when you stopped packing a snack in Hawaii. You had told me that it was taking away from your soccer playing time so you were no longer going to eating a snack at school. You loved snacks, but you loved soccer at recess more.

Today I thought about different and unrealistic situations. I found myself wondering if I could have known when you were born, would I have wanted to know I was going to lose you early in life?

I think the only plus with having that knowledge would be that I could have said one last goodbye and told you how much I loved you. It wouldn’t be worth it. Worrying about when something would happen to you for your entire life would be worse.

You lived your young life wild and free. You climbed mountains, launched yourself off various furniture and play structures, you built and destroyed things, and you made memories, you made good friends.

I love you more than anything, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.