Isaiah Joseph,

There was a moment tonight where I was sitting with your siblings on the couch and watching Big City Greens. Even Bella was up there with us. For a split second I took it in as “all the most important things in my life in one place” and it felt “cozy”. I know, that sounds weird to explain. I was able to appreciate for the little bit what I still currently have. When I got that feeling, I looked up at the ocean canvases we painted after your passing and saw your name. Although you were gone, we all helped make yours and your name is written in the sand on your canvas.

I was talking to you in your room today. Did you hear me? I asked you what you thought about a current situation and what you thought I should do. You personally lived part of it so I figured you would have some good points to back up whatever your case is. I also found that wishy in the garage and made that little wish before sending it off outside. Who knows, maybe that sudden feeling of comfort and seeing your name was your visit.

Elijah and I also spent some time in your room this morning building with your Legos and playing board games. He made a crown for you and put it on your urn. He was so proud of himself. We did all these activities while listening to Disney Favorites on Amazon Music, a station you listened to a lot. It was nice to hang out in your room with your brother and do things other than stare around at your things and just drift off into my own world.

I got some more of the garage cleaned today. Unfortunately, I had to throw a few more things away because they were moldy from when the garage flooded. The box that had the magic adventures globe in it was one of them. I’m not sure if the globe is still in working condition, but I’m going to clean it up and put new batteries in it to see. You absolutely loved that globe. Abuela bought that for you guys for Christmas, I think, and it came everywhere. You played with it on the couch, in the car, at the breakfast/lunch/dinner table, at Ellie’s gymnastics, everywhere. You were always wanting to challenge everyone and usually winning every single time. I remember you put the little stylus thing in a cup of water back in Virginia and it stopped working for a little bit. I think you were pretending it was a straw? If it doesn’t work, I’m probably going to have to buy a new one just so I can keep those memories of you alive.

I love you more than anything in the world, my baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.