Isaiah Joseph,

I’m not sure if you met that little boy I told you about or not, but if you have, I hope you’re giving him the rundown of all the best things to do. I’m going to stop by the viewing next week and bring a few things for his siblings.

When we lost you, I constantly heard how the kids felt forgotten because everyone was worried about mom and dad. I’m just going to bring a little bag with some of their favorite candies and a bunch of different fidgets. Maybe they can use those fidgets during the viewing and funeral to kind of help themselves get through it. I had never even thought about it until your siblings got those fidgets at the CORE ceremony last weekend. Then I thought back to all my sessions at the Caring Place and each time I just sat and talked and listened while stretching and rolling around model magic clay.

I’m also going to include two of the books that your siblings received after we lost you. Maybe they’ll read them, maybe they won’t. However, it’s always great to just have resources. As the final addition, I of course will add a little Lego set for each of them from you.

I sit in awe of your siblings each and every day because I could have never gone through what they have at this age. They’re having to figure out things I still can’t figure out when I’m almost forty.

I think I’m going to try and meet with Ellie’s teachers soon. Last year, around this time, is when Ellie really started to struggle even more with your loss. At this time last year is actually when Ellie told me she’s ready to move to Pennsylvania and that it’s too hard for her to be in Hawaii. I don’t really know what I would tell her teachers or ask her teachers, but I just want to try and stay ahead of whatever we can.

I hope to find my purpose in this world. I love you more than anything, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.