Isaiah Joseph,

My assignment got changed today and I got put in second grade this morning. I’m thankful I took the original one with the little note about Christmas Around the World to bring back those memories with you. It was a good morning, though. I am enjoying getting to experience all the different classrooms and am learning a lot about how different teachers run things.

After I picked up your siblings from school, I checked the mailbox and there was a card inside. I figured it was a Christmas card from someone who has it more together than I ever really was, but it wasn’t exactly that.

I noticed right away that this card was just put in the mailbox by someone today, it wasn’t sent in the mail. I opened it up to read a note and see an ornament that made me cry. It was absolutely beautiful and I have no idea who gave it to us because there was no name on it. I tried to match some handwriting with things I had, but couldn’t figure it out. This was one of those moments where it broke me today, but I couldn’t be more grateful.

Losing you has given me a new outlook on life. Before losing you, with everything going on, I was constantly telling myself “life can’t get worse”. I am now in constant awe of how lucky I am.

I know it sounds weird, I lost my son. There’s way too much sadness already in each and every single day that I can’t add anything else. This little surprise that showed up in my mailbox today was just another reminder of me asking myself, “how did I get so lucky?”. Someone went out of their way to think about us, to think about you, to get this ornament for us, to write us this beautiful note, and to bring it over to our house from wherever they were.

I never really have the words when things like this happen, but I just can’t help but to smile and cry at the same time. I feel a little lighter and think that just maybe I will figure out how to navigate this. I wish I was better with explaining how I feel through all this. Someone loved you and us enough to think of us.

I love you more than anything, my baby boy. I wish I would have learned everything I have learned since your loss while you were still here with me. You and your siblings are always the ones teaching me everything so I guess it’s only fitting that you taught me all of this. Goodnight and sweet dreams, baby boy.