My baby boy,

I’m so tired and it’s starting to drain me even more. Hopefully once the movers come and take our stuff, things will seem a little less stressful. However, right now I don’t think we are in any way prepared for the movers.

I forgot to tell you, but when I was going through your drawer looking for your water filled latex glove I was sad because most of the water is out of it. I doubt that much of it evaporated, but I tried to find any kind of hole I couldn’t find it. It doesn’t matter, it’s still coming home to Pennsylvania with me. Your new room wouldn’t be complete without the latex glove.

Your brothers both did something that you always wanted to do, but never got a chance to do. They climbed that big tree right by the park that you always wanted to climb with Carson. The other people moved away and the new ones don’t care if anyone climbs it. I’m sorry you never got a chance, but your brothers did it for you today.

I realize that I’ve compared you and Elijah so many times since you’ve passed, but another similarity came to me last night. You were always my fixer and trying to make things better, especially if something broke. You used all your skills to tape it together, glue it together, or draw me a picture of my broken item so I’d “remember it”. I’ve been telling you how Elijah feels this need to help everyone and make everything better. You two are just my helpers.

Please send me some of that strength you always had. Maybe send me some of your perseverance, too. I just want to crawl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep, while sleeping for days. Obviously it’s not possible, but everything is getting really heavy. I love you more than anything, my sweet boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.