My baby boy,

Ellie got her ears pierced again. Remember how she got them done in Missouri, but then she let them close? Well, she’s been asking for a while so I told her we could do it after camp. Because it’s Ellie, we had to go and do it today since it was the first full day back at camp. Even though she loves shots, Ellie was a little nervous to get her ears pierced. To show her she’d be fine, I ended up with two holes in my cartilage. I already have three holes in each ear from being bored at work in high school and I had to buy both earrings so there it is.

A year ago I told you about how I took all those pictures of you in the hospital, but didn’t want to look at them. I said that maybe I’d look at them in six months or a year. After hitting the year mark, I can tell you I still don’t want to look at those pictures. In the back of my mind, I’m glad I have something of the “last times”, but still don’t want to see you like that.

I talked to my therapist how I have yet to write my essay thing that I need to in order to submit my teaching application. She told me that I should tell your siblings that I “won’t do my homework”. More specifically, I should tell Ellie. I told Ellie, but she was just on me about how I make her do her homework and I don’t even do my own. Why does she have to do it then? Even if I got it done tomorrow, I’m sure that Ellie will use this information and remember it for years to come as she is doing homework.

I love you so much, my baby. I had a dream last night that included family members that passed away years ago, but you weren’t in there. The dream didn’t even make sense, anyway. Goodnight and sweet dreams.