My baby boy,
Your siblings are back from camp and our house is “full” again. They both had a great time and immediately answered “yes” when I asked them if they would be going back to camp next year. When we got there, Ellie gave me a huge hug and then had about fifty million things to tell me. Lucas hugged me and didn’t let go, told me he missed me, and cried.
They told me all about some of the other kids that were at camp, the siblings they lost, and how. Some were accidental, some were from diseases, and some were before birth. It seems odd to say, but I loved how your siblings could talk so openly about losing you and hear from other kids the rawness of them losing their siblings.
This also led to a conversation tonight with Lucas about the miscarriage we had and the genetic genes he carries. He wanted me to clarify that if we didn’t have that miscarriage, he wouldn’t have existed. I think I got pregnant again about five months after the miscarriage. He asked if the baby had a name, but I told him we didn’t know if it was going to be a boy or a girl. I told him that if it was a girl, I really wanted the name “Lennon”, but didn’t have any choices for boy names. Obviously I didn’t have any, he went a day and a half of his life being “Baby Boy Watson”.
He then asked about the heart genes and epilepsy genes that you guys all carry and if his kids could have them. I explained to him that there is a chance, but at least he would know that any of his kids would need to get checked for them at the beginning. Daddy and I had no idea there was anything on either side of the family. I also told him there’s a chance his kids could carry it, but not be affected by it. He told me several times that made no sense so I just gave up and told him to go to bed.
We stopped at the store on our way home from camp and your siblings quickly transitioned me back to what it’s like to have multiple kids. It was absolute chaos. It’s as if all three were locked up in a cage for a year and not allowed to move then they’re suddenly set free. I’m pretty sure my parenting was judged today at Trader Joe’s. Lucas and Elijah just couldn’t stop chasing each other/hitting each other/yelling random things at each other. At one point, Elijah fell down and hit his head on the ground. It was absolute insanity.
Thank you for helping your sibling make it through camp, it was such an amazing opportunity for them and I will be forever grateful. I love you more than anything, baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.