My baby boy,

I got a lot accomplished today, but packing up is like opening old wounds again and again. While I’m packing, I can think back to when I did the same thing in Missouri. I was upstairs in the playroom while you guys watched TV in there. I was putting all the various toys in plastic baggies so the movers didn’t just dump everything into a box. I did the same thing in Virginia. I was down in the living room bagging up all the toys and putting them into boxes. The best part was that I saved all the ziplock bags from the move to Virginia just five months prior, so things were quite organized.

I was going through the playroom and the three boxes that were sitting along the wall. These three boxes were packed last April and have just stayed there. In the one, was your jukebox cat vs pickle. That meant that it was there from you. Those boxes were originally sitting in the front room so that means you probably accidentally got it in the box while you were throwing them off the balcony. Missouri and Hawaii were the two favorite houses to throw your stuffed animals. You guys liked Missouri because of the Titanic stairs and here because of the balcony.

The plus side out of going through those boxes? I found the one with the gloves and hats in them. That’s actually a huge win. However, I didn’t find your blue snow hat. I will have to just go through everything once we move. It’ll probably be the first house I ever unpack every single box for.

Packing just makes me think about you so much. It’s dejavu because I have packed and moved so many times. I literally packed up this house nine months ago. The world was bright ahead of me. I was going to start over, but I had the four of you and I knew it’d be alright. It just doesn’t feel right doing this again and knowing you won’t be there with us on this next step.

I’m doing the best I can, baby, it’s just a lot to handle. Please watch over us. I love you so much, sweetie. Goodnight and sweet dreams.