My handsome boy,

It’s been a long day and I don’t actually know why. I didn’t sleep well last night, so that probably has something to do with it.

It’s been 288 days since I’ve seen you standing in front of me. Just 287 days ago I thought the worst thing that would happen to me in my life had already happened. “It can’t get any worse” I would tell myself when it was a bad day. I’ve been very serious about not ever saying that again. I don’t want to bring that kind of energy into my life and cannot comprehend it getting worse. Losing you has been the worst possible thing I could have ever imagined for my life.

I hope you’re proud of the current place we are in. I hope you’ve been watching your siblings and cheering them on in both their little and big accomplishments. I hope you’ve been able to hear when you’re talked about. I hope you know that your siblings still play the special games that you guys made up. Just yesterday, they played “moo moo milk”. I love hearing about these ridiculous games. I find it even more entertaining that “moo moo milk” is essentially just tag. Why it’s called that, nobody could answer me. I hope you know that you’re still loved down here on this earth as much as you were loved when you were physically here with us. You’ve forever changed my life and grieving the loss of you will be with me for the rest of my days.

I love you so much, handsome. Goodnight and sweet dreams.