My oldest baby boy,

Some things got accomplished today. They were little things, but also things that would help the overall outcome I’m trying to get.

First, we went to Ellie’s school for a tour. She was overwhelmed at the size of the building itself. Virginia and Hawaii both were schools with a bunch of small buildings and Thayer was smaller building, but this one had three floors. Ellie was excited to learn that she will have one special every day instead of once every two weeks and really loved hearing that she would have Spanish once a week. She got to meet her teachers, but was definitely more on the quiet side.

After the tour, we sat down with the school counselor so she could answer any questions that Ellie had. Once Ellie’s one question was answered, the counselor started to ask Ellie some questions. I never even thought of the school addressing your loss before Ellie got there. However, she asked Ellie if she wanted the other kids to be told ahead of time about her losing you, or not. Ellie wanted everything shared before she starts on Monday. The counselor will not only tell Ellie’s classmates about your sudden loss, but she’s also going to tell them about you. Ellie made sure to tell her your favorite color was red, that you loved pizza, and played soccer and flag football. I was so incredibly proud of your sister during those few minutes. Like me, she wants everyone to know about you. Her safe place to freely talk about you in Hawaii was at school, doing this helps create that same environment at her new school.

I managed to find a Pre-K for Elijah, too. I didn’t think we would stand a chance to get him in anywhere, but I emailed a preschool after we drove past the sign yesterday. I’m very familiar with the location. Aunt Michelle went to preschool there, but I used to go down there to play all the time when I was younger. I even learned how to parallel park in that parking lot as Pap pulled bags out of the car of clothes that were getting donated to use as cones. I also used to walk down towards there a lot because one of my closest friends from elementary school lived right by it. To my surprise, she messaged me today and she currently teaches at the preschool.

I will be honest, I’m finding some comfort in being back here around things and people I know. I enjoyed our lifestyle of moving around and never planned on coming back to Pittsburgh, but it’s bringing me peace right now. It’s hard enough to navigate your loss and a move across an ocean and continent without daddy, but the places and people from my past are making it a little easier.

I wish you were here. I wish I could have listened to you complaining about having to brush your teeth tonight. Uncle Brandon came over with Honora and Lorelei. I’m wondering how it would have went with you trying to beat him up as your taller, heavier, and stronger self. You were much smaller the last time you two got to do that.

I love you more than anything in the world, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.