My sweet boy,

Today was hard. Today was absolutely worse than I thought it would be. I couldn’t have prepared for it. I’ve know it was coming, but I think all the stress of preparing for the movers was on my mind more than going through the whole process of watching this house get packed up.

I was already extremely stressed this morning because we had so much to do. At around 9:15am, the school nurse called to tell us that Ellie fell in gym class and was complaining about her wrist. Daddy went to go pick her up and the nurse said she “felt something” while wrapping Ellie’s hand up so he should take her to urgent care. Daddy and Ellie sat in urgent care until about 12:15pm and Ellie sprained her wrist.

Due to Ellie’s sudden injury, I got to be at the house with just your brothers when the movers showed up. When daddy came back home and could help with the movers, I just started crying. I cried that I didn’t get to fully process packing up your room. I wasn’t in there when they packed it because I was attempting to make Lucas and Elijah’s room “pack-able”. One second all your stuff is there and then it’s empty.

Miss Madison saw me walking back from the PX and asked if I needed a hug so I guess my mood was obvious. She was right though, I needed one.

I can’t describe this sadness. This one seems different than all the other ones. Was it because I wasn’t prepared for it? Because I kept focusing on everything happening and not how I felt about it? I don’t know, but I am lost.

I love you so much, sweetie. Goodnight and sweet dreams.