Baby boy,

I want to just sit down and have a conversation with you. I don’t even know how I’d start, it would probably just mostly be crying and telling you how much I love you while I held on so tight to you.

I would want to know what happened that day. Did you know what was going on? Were you scared? Did you try and ask for help, but weren’t able to? Did you feel anything?

Then at the hospital, did you ever know we were there or were you gone from the beginning?

After I got those things out of the way, I’d want to know what you’ve been doing ever since. I would want to know anything about everything that you could tell me. I’d also want to know if you’d been checking up on us, how that worked, and what you may have seen.

I would ask you if you have any messages that I need to pass along and would give you updates on all the ways different people have celebrated you.

I would tell you what an amazing young man you had grown into and would be in awe of how much your appearance had changed, yet you were still my Isaiah.

I would probably ask you a hundred times if you’re sure you know how much I love you. It would get annoying, but I can get annoying so it wouldn’t be surprising.

When it would come time for you to have to go, I would be so thankful for the time I had with you, but probably beg you not to leave me again. I hope that you would reassure me that you’re always with me and that we will be together again one day.

I love you more than anything in the world, my baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.