Isaiah Joseph,

My brain is absolute mush and I don’t know why. I can’t vocalize how I feel or what’s going through my mind, it even took me a minute to find the word “vocalize” in my vocabulary. To be honest, I don’t even think that’s the word I’m looking for in this moment, but my brain just isn’t working correctly.

Lucas was standing on his bed tonight, getting ready to go to sleep, and was talking about how much he loved “Draggie”. Suddenly, the lightness in his voice went away and he said he remembered something about Draggie. He said that when he was holding him in the thrift shop, you came up behind him to help him hold it and said that you were definitely going to get him. Lucas started to cry and asked if I thought you forgave him. I reassured him that since he picked up Draggie first, you were in no way mad at him or thought he stole him from you. Never did I think this seven foot long stuffed snake/dragon would still be in his bed every night and come into the van with us.

We are supposed to get an unknown amount of snow over the next two days and I wish you were here for it. I’m not sure what caused my overload tonight, but I’m going to go to bed. It’s that time when I just want to shut my brain off. I love you more than anything, my sweet boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.