My Isaiah Joseph,

Tonight was one of those moments where I just didn’t want to do something, but sucked it up and did it to make your siblings happy.

I got all the Christmas stuff down today and enjoyed that. Ellie wanted to leave the tree up until February, but I told her I was ready for it to be taken down. I’m happily waving “goodbye” to the holiday season.

Lucas reminded me tonight that we had to make the Oreo gingerbread house things we got before daddy went back home. He leaves early tomorrow morning, so that meant they needed to be done tonight. I had no desire to do these houses, i wasn’t planning on doing them at all. Instead, I was just going to chalk it up as a loss for this year.

Lucas got so upset and I know it’s something he wanted to do with daddy, so we made gingerbread houses. Making those without you hurt and I was ready to be done with this and go home. In the end, Elijah and Lucas really enjoyed themselves and had fun.

Daddy’s leaving tomorrow morning and it’s like a constant reminder that our family is broken.

Abuela sent me a few pictures tonight from when they came to visit us last when you were still with us. They’re difficult to look at and made me extremely sad. I had never seen them before you.&

I love you more than anything, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.