My sweet boy,

I spent my weekend stressing about this upcoming week. I work the whole week in the same classroom, but I worry that the house, dinner, and our lives will fall apart by the end of the week. It’s extremely dramatic and very unlikely, but I’m still a “worst case scenario” person. I got as much done as I could today in hopes that if things start to fall apart, it’s not until the end of the week and I can put it back together over the weekend.

My therapist reminded me again yesterday that I need to “detach from the outcome”. I had made a decision, I don’t feel comfortable with it at all, I’m worried about what could possibly happen, and of course the only things that can happen in my mind are bad.

When we pulled into the parking lot at Target today, we pulled in right by a van with a sea turtle sticker on it. I told you I think of you when I see sea turtles, but I know they’re all around. However, I immediately noticed this one and thought of you. I thanked you for the sign, if that was one from you. I am trying my best to make sure I acknowledge them, I know that’s important.

Well baby, I’m off to bed because tomorrow morning will be chaos while we run around and try and get out of the house. Your brothers both move as slow as you and are constantly losing and forgetting everything. I love you more than anything in the world, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.