Baby boy,

Let me start out by saying that everyone got out of the house on time today. Ellie got on her bus, I dropped off Elijah at Gma and Pap’s, and I took Lucas earlier to school with me and there was no rushing. I’m sure it’ll slowly unravel as the week goes on, but for today we have a win!

What’s funny about that, is that a year ago today we were late and missed our flight from Hawaii to Pittsburgh. Technically, you could say that I have things a little more together now, even though you can in no way compare the two things. I remember just laughing as we ran through that airport and it felt exactly like Home Alone. At one point Elijah dropped a bunch of stuff, refused help from strangers to help him pick it up, and set us back even more. I was thankful to get that extra time in the world’s most beautiful place, I even got to go back to my beach one more time and say “goodbye” the correct way.

Today while in kindergarten, I got to experience what my therapist experiences with me. A child handed out invitations for their birthday party that’s eventually coming up. They were all excited to hand them out, but a few minutes later they were crying and their world was crumbling down. They were extremely worried that nobody would come to their party, that they just handed out the invitations to. I talked with them and reassured them the best I could that some kids would come, they have no idea who will and won’t come yet because invitations haven’t even gone home, and I’m sure it’ll be a fun time because it’s at a trampoline park. They didn’t hear what I was saying, focused on the possibility that nobody would come, and stayed upset. It was so sad, but I got a front row seat to the kindergarten version of me making up an entire “worst case scenario” for something that hasn’t even occurred yet. I wish I knew a kindergarten way to teach “detach from the outcome”, even though I can’t even do it myself. Hopefully they will be better tomorrow.

Having all four of you has made me such a better person working with kids. Whenever I see them struggle, I just think of you guys and what you would need to hear in the moment. How would I need to talk to you? Thank you so much for teaching me how to be a better, more patient person.

I love you more than anything, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.