My Isaiah Joseph,

My Isaiah Joseph,

I used to be so organized. Not necessarily like color coded systems and stuff, but I at least knew what was happening when. Once I had kids, that all disappeared. I’m not sure which child it happened on, but I want to say around Lucas. I could handle Ellie and you, but once Lucas came and there were three of you, it was survival. It wasn’t until daddy left for a month for training and Lucas was nine months old where I was forced to figure it out. Once Elijah came, I handled the chaos and was as organized as a mom with four young kids could be.

Well I missed your siblings’ dentist appointment today. Remember how I told you I had gotten those reminders and even had to call to cancel your appointment? I completely forgot about it. Mind you they sent me a few messages starting last week, I called last week, they called me, and I wrote the date and time on a sticky note on the fridge. Doesn’t matter, I thought it was tomorrow and not today. There’s just too much going on in life with all these medical and therapy appointments and just the overall “stuff” that takes up my mental capacity.

I also accidentally said your name twice today and wrote it down once. Not an accident as in I didn’t want to say it, but an accident because I was talking about one of your brothers and said your name instead. When I was calling to reschedule the missed dentist appointments, I wrote your name down for an appointment. If only..

I’m so tired, my baby. I’m sorry this is short, but there’s a lot going on. I love you more than anything. Goodnight and sweet dreams.