My sweet boy,
My sweet boy,
This life isn’t easy. Sometimes you just need to accept that some things and some people will never change. Glenda, my therapist, told me that a while ago. It’s just I feel the desperate need to do what’s best for you guys and I figure I can do whatever I need to do to get myself through it.
Tomorrow is too busy of a day. There’s an event being put on the Legacy of Life group, but there’s also Surf for the Soul. The current issue is that the times overlap and they’re both on different parts of the island. The Legacy of Life thing is down at Kapi’olani and Surf for the Soul is in Haleiwa. I’m not sure how we can be two places at once, but I haven’t committed to not trying yet. I think it’s really important for your siblings to come and celebrate you with The Legacy of Life, but how often would they get private surf lessons with professional surfers? I guess you’ll find out tomorrow what I ended up doing.
I’ve told Lucas these past few days that I can’t play around with him anymore because he goes into “Isaiah mode” and gets too serious with fighting back. Now he’s not throwing large things at us or anything, but it’s only not as bad because he’s not as big and as strong as you were yet. He was threatening me today while we played the “cuddles” game that he was going to go into Isaiah Mode, but I quit before that could happen. Just so you know, the cuddle game is exactly what it sounds like. I lay on my bed, cuddle Elijah with one arm, cuddle Lucas with the other, and they try to escape. I’m not sure how it started or why they think it’s so fun, but it’s better then the game where you guys try and cross by bed with blankets. I think you and Lucas were the only two to ever get across the bed though. You were good at creating distractions and staggering when you would go with your siblings. You always caught me off guard.
Wish us luck tomorrow, my baby. Hopefully I just make the right choice and feel comfortable with my decision. However, it’s me..so that means I will wait till the last minute, try to do both, and it blows up in my face. See, I’m self-aware! I love you more than anything, my baby. Goodnight and sweet dreams.