Baby boy,

Today was both beautiful and emotionally draining. It was The Special Place Ceremony for the CORE organization. We had went to one Legacy of Life event in Hawaii before we moved, so I guess my expectations of today were from that one experience. However, the event for today was much bigger and there was much more to it than I thought there would be. Aunt Cait asked me the other day if she could come, so she joined us.

When we first arrived, they took a group picture of us. After, you could give them your quilt square if you made one. Although we made one for the Caring Place, I had no idea we could make one for CORE. I got the information on how to make the quilt square for them and I will do it at some point. We then went to the sand station where each family picked a color to add to the large sand art thing they were making. Lucas and Ellie wanted to add some gold sand for you, but Elijah really wanted to add dark blue. The lady working the table was nice and let them add both colors to the glass container.

We stopped to talk and see the doves before going to our seats and got a few things from the “kid’s section” to help keep everyone busy before the ceremony started. Elijah worked hard and colored a beautiful butterfly and they had a whole bunch of different fidget things to keep hands busy. Because I am a child, I also got myself a squishy cube so I could sit there and squeeze it throughout the entire ceremony.

Everyone attending the ceremony was the family member of someone who donated their organs and tissue in 2024. It was filled with speakers who were waiting for a transplant, had gotten a transplant, and a family whose dad had donated his organs when he passed. The organization shared the effects of organ donation and how many people it actually helps and a priest even spoke about his time working with the organization. The priest was causing some vivid flashbacks to the hospital with how he was talking, but I was able to focus on the sights and sounds around me to pull myself out of those.

At the end, they released doves and gave everyone an environmentally friendly balloon to release. It was beautiful, Lucas of course brought his balloon home.

After the ceremony, we went to a reception lunch nearby. After we ate lunch, they played a video with all the pictures of the people who donated the past year. It was in alphabetical order by first name, so I had an idea when you were going to come up, but seeing you hurt my heart. There were about three other kids around your age in the video and a few babies, those ones hurt more to see than anything. After your picture came up, the boys were also emotionally done with the situation and ready to go.

Thanks to Aunt Sarah, I have been in contact with a woman named Jill since before we even moved back to Pennsylvania. She actually called me last night in a panic that your age was wrong in the video. When they did your age, they put down “9 years old”, not realizing you passed before your ninth birthday. She was incredibly sorry, said she reached out to try and fix it, but if it didn’t get fixed she wanted me to be prepared. I told her not to worry about it and I appreciated the heads up. I also thanked them for even adopting us into their program here in Pennsylvania’s. Well, you should know that they managed to change it and the video said “8 years old”.

It’s been a whole lot today, baby. I’m sorry. Goodnight, sweet dreams, and I love you more than anything, baby boy.