Baby boy,

It’s a “blah” night. The day was a little busier with cleaning, laundry, and then needing to run out to a few stores. I despise nothing more than having to go to the stores during the month of December. I’m like the Grinch when he didn’t want to go grocery shopping. It’s not that I have an issue with people, it’s just that there’s so many people and it’s so hectic. It becomes more stressful than it should be.

I took your siblings to Five Below so they could buy their gifts for each other. In Hawaii, we always just went to the thrift shop with you guys to save money. Last year, all your siblings went right in and included you in the gifts they needed to buy. Each one bought you a gift, wrapped it, and they had them out on Christmas Eve when they exchanged them. I think you got two stuffed animals and I forget the other thing, but they all got put in your bedroom.

Nothing had been said by anyone on the way to the store or heading into the store about getting you a gift. I wasn’t going to say anything, I was just paying attention to what was happening. After about ten minutes in the store, I sent a text about your siblings not talking about getting you anything and how sad it made me. I knew it seemed to be the natural way things would go, but I didn’t want it to.

I was upset, but I was letting your siblings take the lead with everything. Not even two minutes after I sent that text, Lucas came up to me holding a Minecraft gingerbread house kit and said he was getting it for you because you loved Minecraft. I had an internal sigh of relief and a wave of happiness and sadness. I took the gingerbread house and put it into his bag. A few minutes later, Ellie came up and told me she was done with her shopping, too. She pulled out a set of four Minecraft figurines and said that she was getting them for you.

With how busy we were earlier today and then that emotional rollercoaster I went on by myself in Five Below, maybe that is why tonight I was just done.

I love you more than anything, baby boy. Please, please, please visit. Goodnight and sweet dreams.