If you follow any of Isaiah’s stories, please do a random act of kindness…

If you follow any of Isaiah’s stories, please do a random act of kindness today for him for his birthday. It doesn’t matter how big or small, just make a positive addition to the world. Let us know what kind of impact he’s having at www.isaiahslight.com

My almost birthday boy,

Happy Birthday Eve! To think, tomorrow you’d be hitting double digits. Officially ten years old and out of the single digits.

We were supposed to go to the Pirate game with the bereaved siblings group tomorrow, but we aren’t going. I can’t do it. You were supposed to be at a game with us, I can’t have the first one I take your siblings to be one on your birthday. The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable and sad it made me.

We will get donuts in the morning, build the Hocus Pocus Lego set during the day at some point, have stuffed crust pizza for dinner, and your Minecraft cake. I bought candles and the “10” sparklers, even though it’ll hurt. Lucas insisted that we had to get party hats so we could put one on your urn, so we did. I’m sorry I didn’t decorate, I couldn’t do it. I did clean the house, but decorating it was too much for me. I did get a Minecraft table cloth for you, at least. Don’t be upset with me, I’m doing my best.

You do know me, though. You know that I make ridiculous decisions and that’s just who I am. We lost you, daddy is in Hawaii, and then we said “goodbye” to Apollo, so things are quiet. I miss the chaos, I miss the noise, I don’t like the quiet. We drove to Target to get the Lego set and then Lucas begged us to stop at PetSmart because he wanted to see animals. I said we could go because it was a little longer till we were going to pick up your cake and because of mom guilt.

We went in and there were people at the front giving information out about fostering dogs. I asked for more information because I thought it was a good idea after losing Apollo and getting Bella a new friend. Well we went to the back of the store and saw some dogs who I thought were there to get fostered, but no they were there to get adopted. Long story short, to try and fill in the huge void in this house we got another dog today. Your siblings won the fight and my overly emotional side took over. He’s five or six months old and he loves your siblings. I have no explanation for this decision, it’s like your birthday gift to us for your birthday.

I’m going to do my best tomorrow, but after looking at my posts from past years on Facebook things just got worse. I can’t believe you’re gone and I can’t believe we have to spend July 20th without you, rather than waking up at 5am and watching you build Legos for over twelve hours.

I know it’s your birthday, but I feel like tomorrow is going to be horrible. I love you more than anything, my baby. Goodnight, sweet dreams, and Happy almost Birthday.