Isaiah Joseph,

Sometimes little things happen out of nowhere that let me see the “progress”.

This morning, we went back to The Caring Place for the quilt dedication ceremony. The quilt from our session and the previous session were completed and they had a little get together to show them to the families.

When it came time for our session’s quilt, they invited all the kids and teens up who had worked on the squares to tell everyone about them. I knew that Elijah would have a lot to tell everyone about you and the square we created for you, that’s just who he is. I figured Ellie and Lucas wouldn’t talk, but they still went up.

Elijah started out and told everyone all about your square. He shared your love for pizza, Minecraft, the fact that you went to Daniel K and that you were the Super Eagle. He made sure to point out all the different states you lived in and told everyone about the upside down heart he drew.

Once he was done, they asked Lucas if he wanted to say anything. Lucas didn’t want to say anything, but it was big for him to go up there and sit there. He doesn’t like to share anything about you in front of people because he gets upset.

Ellie was next and since she made sure to tell me she wasn’t going to talk, I didn’t think she’d say anything. Like Lucas, she doesn’t like to talk about you in front of other people because it makes her upset and she doesn’t like people seeing her cry.

To my surprise, Ellie talked about you. She didn’t just say one thing, she actually talked about you. She even told them how she drew a picture of you guys playing basketball and how you’d always beat her.

Listening to Ellie openly speak about you made my heart so happy. Ellie holds a lot of her feelings about you in and doesn’t share them with anyone. We went to ten meetings at The Caring Place during our session and she passed all the time when it came to talking about you. Hearing her reminisce about your great times with an entire group of people was such a huge step and made me realize that although each day is hard and seems hopeless, things are happening to help move us forward. We won’t move forward without you, we are moving forward with you.

I wanted to thank and apologize to the volunteers who were there the evening we put our quilt square together. I told you before, but we were the last ones there because I was so worried about forgetting something on there. The volunteers had to stay longer than usual and it had bothered me that I thought they were upset by that.

One of the women came up to reassure me at the end that not a single person had a problem with how long we took and that they’re there to help and support us. I thanked her again, but her telling me that made me feel a little better.

As I always do, I looked closely at all the dates on the quilt squares to see if there were any other children. In the spring session that met before ours, there was another family who had lost a child and we were not the only ones in that room.

Sharing something like this gives you a feeling of automatically being connected to someone. I may not know these people, but I know what they’ve been dealing with. Thankfully, the family came up to introduce themselves before we left and we exchanged numbers. I’m too awkward and shy to have done that, but maybe this will push me to do it next time.

I love you more than anything, my baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.