My baby boy,

It was pretty nice out today for the middle of November, so I had to take advantage and put up some of the Christmas lights outside. I think I told you, but they had a little drive around thing for houses that decorated for Halloween. If they do the same thing for Christmas, I’d like it if our house made the list. We can’t quite keep up with some of the people around here, but I hope to do enough. Elijah even said something about it tonight, so he was thinking the same thing.

Your brothers both asked to help put up the lights, but then quickly disappeared within thirty seconds after they asked. Ellie was not at all impressed and told me that when she gets older and has kids, she will not be decorating until December. I find it funny how you three boys are very much like me and Ellie is like daddy. You all love the decorations and get so excited to help, while Ellie can’t be bothered by caring about such things. I would say it’s the age, but she’s always been like this.

At the end of this month we will officially hit the year and a half mark without you. Time has gone by so fast without you, but I don’t want it to. I cannot imagine down the road saying “oh, I lost my son twenty years ago”. That’s more than two of your lifetimes.

I wish there was a little phone I could travel to in some remote place that had access to you. Something like a random phone in the middle of the desert that you can pick up and talk to your loved ones who passed. I wouldn’t even “need” you to talk back, just if I could tell you “I love you” and know you’re hearing it.

I love you more than anything, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.