My baby boy,

They’re calling for the first “snowfall” tonight of the year. If we get what they’re calling for, it’ll be the most snow we have seen since moving here. It won’t take much, we really didn’t get much last year when we moved here. They already put out a delay for school, which I can appreciate as a parent. Missouri always waited until the last minute to put out the delay or cancellation and you guys were already up and running around. I’m sure you’d be excited about the prospective snow.

We went to see Zootopia 2 today in the theatres. I brought your Minecraft blanket you had in the hospital and had my necklace on with your ashes in it, so you were there with us.

I thought the movie was cute and your siblings all liked it. I don’t know if I liked the first one more or not, I think I need to see it again to form a final opinion on which I liked more. I know you would have loved it and probably thought the Zebros were funny.

Through therapy, I’m starting to see how broken I really am. The baggage that I never got to properly deal with before your loss is starting to trickle back into my life more and more. I wonder how this would be different if you were here. I feel like I had more fight to me before and since losing you, I’m just terrified of anything that could possibly affect the future positively. I’ve lost so much that I don’t actually think I ever want to gain anything else that I could lose. That’s a depressing way to live life and I know I’d “survive” again, but I don’t even want the risk it. I need your strength, I need your guidance, I need you.

I love you more than anything, my baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.