My baby boy,

I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I haven’t slept well any of these days your siblings have been gone. I always figured my horrible sleep was caused by them and how they wake me up all the time randomly throughout the night. Apparently it’s just me, I’m the problem, I guess.

Today started off just like yesterday had ended. I felt very down and just wasn’t in the mood to do much. I did a lot of cleaning and put on Stranger Things back at the very first episode. I think I may have only watched that first season one time, so as I was watching it I kept thinking to myself, “the last time I watched this was with Isaiah”.

There’s a part in that season where they have to do CPR on Will and I have trouble with all those scenes now. Any scene where a child is getting CPR takes me right back to you on the beach. Once the scene was over, I wished I could remember what went through my mind the first time I saw that. It was probably nothing, just part of the show. Now it’s an entire traumatic memory.

I got to go to dinner with two of my friends tonight and had such a good time. I’m thankful to be back in Pittsburgh and actually getting to see them. I don’t think we have had a dinner without kids since college. We talked all about our kids and I got to reminisce about some great memories with you.

I absolutely love you more than anything, my baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.