My sweet boy,

Tonight’s letter is going to be short. I don’t know how, but the grief today has quietly run me into the ground.

I’ve just felt “off” all day, I couldn’t really pinpoint it and I couldn’t do anything to make it go away.

In the late afternoon I went down into the garage to try and at least make space so I can set the weights up. There’s something about that garage that just drains me even more.

I was down there cleaning and moving things and there were just constant reminders of you and constant reminders of my “old life”. I was sad, but I got angry. I got so angry that all these life altering things happened to me and I didn’t get a say in any of it. Other people and other things that I don’t understand got to make the choice.

I want you back. I don’t want to do life without you anymore. I love you more than anything, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.