Hi baby,

I’m going to keep it short tonight. Ellie made a memory box at school and brought it home today. Inside, she wrote memories and notes to you on little post-its. I am so incredibly thankful that we have so much outside support. I wanted you to see her notes. I love that she put “do not touch cats” because you never listened. All you ever saw was the allergic kid crying to pet random cats or sticking his fingers into the cages at the store.

I did take your siblings to the thrift shop today so they could buy each other their presents to exchange on Christmas Eve. As we were walking in, Ellie made sure to ask if they could all get a gift for you. They all got you a gift they thought you’d like. We are going to wrap them and then I will figure out if we keep them in your room or talk them into giving them to another kid.

I miss you. There’s a lot going on right now and I don’t know if I’m making the best call. Maybe throw a sign my way? Life would be so much easier if you could see the outcome of your decisions before you make them. I love you with all my heart, my sweet boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.