My baby,

Time seems to go even faster here in Pennsylvania where there’s seasons. In Hawaii it all kind of blended together since the weather was more constant. The two and a half years in Hawaii just seemed to make me forget the way I’ve lived nearly every other year of my life. As time moves on, it’s just a constant reminder that you’ve been gone longer than the day before.

Tomorrow night at the Caring Place, we are going to be decorating our quilt square. They sent me what your square would look like with the pictures to “okay” and it was perfect. I’m so thankful for the people at the Caring Place. Without them, I know we definitely wouldn’t have a square with five pictures on it to decorate tomorrow.

I had therapy today and good news, I will be starting actual trauma therapy within the next few sessions. I haven’t actually done any trauma therapy yet so I don’t know what to expect. Apparently I have things that aren’t just losing you that need to be addressed so she wants to start from the earliest. I’m actually thankful for that, I will get some experience and a an idea how it’ll all work before I deal with the worst part of my life.

Lucas goes to the cardiologist tomorrow morning, we will see what they want to do going forward.

I love you so much, my baby. I’m sorry, I’m just so exhausted. Goodnight and sweet dreams.