My oldest son,

Hi, baby. Today I learned something important, I will no longer underestimate the storms in Pittsburgh. Coming from Hawaii where we heard thunder maybe three times, I guess I forgot the weather could get crazy. A warning came through on our phones and I told Ellie not to tell Lucas, you know how he gets with storms. Still, I texted Aunt Cait and said something along the lines of “it’ll be fine”. Not even five minutes later, I was staring out the window and watching the trampoline getting picked up in the air and ending up on the fence. I tried to rush out and grab it down, but it was way too crazy to be outside. I was just hoping it got itself stuck on the fence.

I underestimated the weather and won’t do that again. Our power went out at the very beginning of the storm around 5pm and they currently have no estimate of when it’ll be back on. I don’t mind power outages, except at bedtime. Getting everyone to bed in the pitch black silence is difficult.

Aunt Sarah got me connected to the organ donation organization here in Pittsburgh. I’m so thankful, I thought I wouldn’t have this resource since you donated in Hawaii and not here. However, she told me that they “adopt” families from donors in different states. She is going to set me up with a grief counselor, told me about the ceremony they have every year in October for all the donors, and even told me about a camp that’s just for bereaved siblings that’s right here in Pittsburgh. I reached out to the lady in charge of the camp right away to see if there was a spot for Ellie and Lucas, Elijah would be able to go once he turns seven. I explained to your brothers again, this is why she’s “Aunt Sarah”.

Elijah had a field trip today at a dairy farm. He got to see a two day old calf, pet a bunch of cows, bottle feed a calf, and even milk a cow. I’ve lived in the area for the first twenty-ish years of my life and never knew it existed. I guess as a teen I wasn’t driving out a half hour to random places to see what was there? I don’t know, it still blows my mind that there’s so many random things I’ve never seen. We got ice cream at the end and Elijah was blown away that you could eat the cone. I guess that was his first ice cream cone, but he said, “what?!? You can eat that?!”. He also learned today that cows do indeed have fur. He said he always thought it was just their skin. In his defense, they do look really smooth in every picture book we read.

Today, random things came to my mind that probably shouldn’t have. I shut the intrusive thoughts down right away, but will probably bring them up at my next therapy session.

Happy end of the Month of the Military Child. Being a military child helped mold you in so many ways. It also allowed you to meet your best-friend in the world, Carson. Your brothers randomly ask me every few weeks if I think Carson is upset about what happened to you. I always tell them I’m sure he is, but I am so incredibly thankful that you got to experience that kind of friendship.

I love you more than anything, my baby. I’ve got to go start bedtime in the black silence. Send me some luck that they’ll all be in bed before 10pm. Goodnight and sweet dreams.