My sweet Isaiah Joseph,

We had the Caring Place again tonight. It was wonderful, they actually sang Happy Birthday to both of your brothers because we have a break next week for July 4th. Elijah made a new friend, Lucas wrote “ahhh” and “I miss Isaiah” a bunch of times on a big piece of paper, and Ellie played Uno feelings edition. Lucas had a feelings wheel in his group today, but he said he didn’t participate because it makes him cry. The groups always have a wonderful “pass” rule where you technically don’t have to participate in anything and can just sit there and listen if you want.

I forgot to tell you yesterday, but I think the universe has told me what I’m doing on your birthday. I got an email yesterday from the child bereavement group we joined that Ellie and Lucas went to the camp with. We were invited to a Pirate game with them on July 20th, your birthday. It was a sign and I took it. This will get us out of the house and it’ll also get your siblings around other kids that they know on your birthday. I’m still going to get you a cake and everything, but definitely will be going to the game. As an added bonus, your siblings will get a plush pierogie at the game.

Daddy and I have to drive down to Baltimore tomorrow to get the van. It’s been four long months without our van and I miss it. During transit, someone did something to it so it’s currently not drivable, but hopefully it can be fixed quickly. I will be able to give Pap back his car and I can stop hearing your siblings argue in the car because they are sitting so close to each other.

Your brothers finally got their hair cut today. While sitting in the chair, Elijah and Lucas both repeatedly made sure that they weren’t going to “be bald”, also known as having a buzzed head. When I had to cut your hair like that in the height of COVID, Elijah was only a baby and Lucas was two years old. However, since I scarred you so much with that haircut and you carried it with you the rest of your life, they carry the same fear with them today.

Please watch over us tomorrow on this drive, baby. I love you more than anything, sweetie. Goodnight and sweet dreams.