Baby boy,

Today has been a down day. I was going through all these pictures I had, deciding which ones I would want to upload to the website and just kept staring at you. I feel like you were so much older than eight years old. I see pictures now of you in clothes that your brothers are wearing now and realize just how young you were.

You were always an “old soul” and daddy and I said that you were years “older” than Lucas is now. You would just take your bike out with Carson and go riding around. I could never let Elijah have the same freedom.

You know how I told you that you just randomly come up? Today, while driving to Ellie’s hair appointment, Lucas asked me if I saw the grandma and little girl at the beach when everything happened with you. He told me that they walked down to the beach, but they turned around and left as soon as they saw them doing CPR on you. I have no idea what made this pop into Lucas’ mind, but he was thinking about it.

We went on a walk early this evening and while Elijah was tracing his room into the ground with a stick, Lucas was writing your name and putting a heart next to it.

I remember telling you how I thought the Magic Adventures Globe was broken because it was just sitting in a few inches of water when the basement flooded the month after we left. When we got home from our walk, Elijah saw the globe and asked if we could bring it upstairs so I could put batteries in it. I warned him that I didn’t think it would work, but as soon as I changed the batteries it turned on.

Just hearing the lady’s voice on the globe talking brought back so many memories. You all loved that Christmas gift from Santa, but you played with that thing everywhere. You took the globe in the car with you, you’d play on the couch, you’d play at the table, it was all the time. It made me miss you even more.

I love you more than anything, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.