Isaiah Joseph,

I read my letter to you from last year and I had in the letter how many days it had been since everything happened with you. Since it’s me, I did the calculation for now and it’s been 653 days since I’ve seen you standing in front of me.

Life looks incredibly different since we’ve lost you, almost unrecognizable. I feel like to a certain extent, I don’t even recognize myself.

With what I’ve been handed the last few years, I’m not quite sure of the lessons my soul is supposed to be learning from this life. I don’t know why I would ever have signed up for this in the first place. I would hope that my soul would be more “advanced” after this life. I always said that you were an older soul when you were here, so you’re already up in the advanced section.

We had to go buy new crocs today and I got overly excited when Elijah was looking because he originally picked out the pair of crocs that you had, but didn’t end up with them. When he originally wanted them, I thought, “there’s another way they’re alike”. However, he ended up with some hunting camouflage ones. We bought you a soccer ball jibbit that we will rotate between the three pairs.

I love you more than anything, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.