Isaiah Joseph,

Peter’s decided tomorrow is only a two hour delay, so I had to go and dig the van out of the snow today. Once I got the van out, I had to clean off the driveway once more. I liked our long driveway when we moved in and I didn’t think about ever having to shovel it, but now I just get annoyed by it. My current fitness level is not up to where it needs to be to clear our driveway.

For whatever reason, I was thinking ahead to your celebration in the park that we will have again on May 31st. I was thinking how we would send “invitations” out to everyone in Lucas and Elijah’s classes this year and trying to gauge how many people might come out this year.

When my mind thought about that, I immediately pivoted to when we sent the “invitation” out for your Celebration of Life right after we lost you. I remember sending it to Mrs. Holmes and asking her to pass it along to the kids in your class. The thing is, when my mind went here, my body had a physical reaction.

I thought about that picture with you and your Santa Lego car being sent out just a week and a half after school ended. I thought about the parents when they saw it and wondered what they thought. My chest started to feel like I had something heavy just sitting on it and there was just a huge lump in my throat.

I thought about your classmates that came and I will never forget seeing Jackson standing there and crying. Just talking about it now to you is turning into too much, so I’m just going to stop in sit in what I’ve already caused.

I love you more than anything in the world, baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.